a lot of people (cowards) don’t like mint ice cream. i’m not one of them
(via haru-kaas)
there are 13 yr olds on this website who are genuinely like “YAAAAS BENEDICT PUT UR DICK IN ME MAKE ME UR CUMBERBITCH AND CUMBERCUM ON MY FAAAACE” like im so worried about them
Oh like you weren’t the same way when you were 13?
literally no i never wanted to fuck a 1000 year old alien even at 13
(via arewetumbling)
despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends
(Source: americagiveup, via arewetumbling)
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”this is what i imagine david karp does with his time considering that tumblr hasn’t been improved for about three odd years
(Source: standards123, via thebootydiaries)